Best of Times, Worst of Times

My mom, if you haven’t met her, is an amazing woman. One of my favorite things about her though, is the way she dances in the car. Her favorite song- well, she has lots of favorites, but let me claim this as her favorite for this posting- is by Chumbawamba, “I Get Knocked Down.” A funny choice for my mother, but she likes the tune because it is easy to dance to, and parallel to her undying motivation and optimism, she also likes the line, “But I get up again, You're never going to keep me down…”

These past weeks have been really hard for me, as evidenced as my lame excuses for blog postings previous to this one. Between horrible travel luck, illness, extreme loneliness , arguments and just plain rough days, I would say that I’m being knocked down a bit by The Organization. Not on purpose at all, and not even directly, but aspects of my job are beginning to wear on me and I’m finding it hard to find new ways to cope with it. The being alone part is probably the worst because in reality, I’m working with people ALL the time. That being said, I shouldn’t really be lonely- but it feels that way.

You know me, so there’s always an “upside” to situations. So here it is… the upside? Today I welcomed 50 New Members to The Organization at UCLA. They were thrilled to join something bigger than themselves and their happiness was visible in everything they did; the way they walked, the way the talked, the way they held themselves. To be able to give them the opportunity of membership to The Organization was both a privilege and an honor. I get excited when I get to share stories of my sisters and the experiences we shared together not because I get to relive those moments, but because I get to see the smile on the face of the person listening. Therefore, to watch these 50 women tonight smile that same way again, was so incredibly rewarding.

So, despite the fact that I’m worn out, exhausted, alone and maybe being walked on a bit, I have to assume that these things are just about the working life and you’ve just got to deal. Right? So, maybe not dancing like my Mom, but in my own way all together, I guess I just have to get back up again, because really, who am I going to let keep me down?